Last night I was crying and sadly I didn’t know the reason. It’s like my tears just needed to fall. I think it’s also called pain. Before I was playful, it was easier to play than get played. Elders say it is still natural because I am still young. No need to be so serious and it’s not right to be serious yet. I thought they are only obsessions, this feelings for them. Why? Because I never get used to not having all the things I wanted. I’m really a stubborn one, though my parents did not spoil me at all. “If there’s a will there’s a way.” And believe me people tend to have plenty of excuses when it comes to thing they don’t want. Once my friend said “People hate responsibilities because they fear admitting mistakes.” Now that my 23rd birthday is just around the corner and I’m not getting any younger, I proudly say that I now understand. I understand that those are not obsessions. I have loved them but not the way they expect me to love them. How can I tell? You know that SMILE when you thought of something good, I have that smile when I suddenly thought of them. But maybe because I inflicted pain in someways they tend to forget about me. Well that’s what we do to people who make us cry. We forget. I think if that person really did played a part in your heart you will never forget about them. I believe there’s still a child inside me. But there’s more of an adult than there is a child. Not because I’m already 23 but because I did grew up early. I see life as it is as early as 8 years old. I see the road towards mistakes and forgiveness. I see the road to understanding and forcefully understanding things as they are. I did discover a lot. If you wanted to write something on the pages of your book of life, take the risk. Do all things you wanted to do so you would not have regrets. If there are no risk there are no choices and choices makes life colorful and meaningful. Someday in someways I would have to write the ending of my life’s story, I wanted it to be simple as ” I have done all the things I wanted to do and now I’m happy to rest.”
Archived date: March 27, 2007
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Do you think it is true? Just lately I’ve realize that I’m about to start the rest of my life. Not with whom but with what? I’m not going to get married or anything?! The people who will mostly react on this quote would be the ones who are getting married, but not me. I’ll be beginning my life towards being a total independent woman. Next week I’ll be moving out of my father’s house. I’ll be staying with my new found friends. We decided to move in even though we just known each other for only a few months. And to tell you frankly I’m a bit scared. But never the less I still need to face my fears. I can’t be dependent to my parents every time. People say I’m independent enough, that I could come up and decide all things by myself. But I’m currently in a foreign country with no one to ask help to. I just pray and hope that I can surpass this alone.
Of all things, I know, I always tend to forget HIM. He always gives me strength, courage, and wisdom so that I could move on without stumbling too much. I got a lot to learn about life.
Now the rest of my life is going to start and I’m going to start it with the special people with me. I wish us all the best on this road we choose to take. I’m happy I’ll be traveling down this road with the both of you.
Archived date: July 1, 2007