Last night I was crying and sadly I didn’t know the reason. It’s like my tears just needed to fall. I think it’s also called pain. Before I was playful, it was easier to play than get played. Elders say it is still natural because I am still young. No need to be so serious and it’s not right to be serious yet. I thought they are only obsessions, this feelings for them. Why? Because I never get used to not having all the things I wanted. I’m really a stubborn one, though my parents did not spoil me at all. “If there’s a will there’s a way.” And believe me people tend to have plenty of excuses when it comes to thing they don’t want. Once my friend said “People hate responsibilities because they fear admitting mistakes.” Now that my 23rd birthday is just around the corner and I’m not getting any younger, I proudly say that I now understand. I understand that those are not obsessions. I have loved them but not the way they expect me to love them. How can I tell? You know that SMILE when you thought of something good, I have that smile when I suddenly thought of them. But maybe because I inflicted pain in someways they tend to forget about me. Well that’s what we do to people who make us cry. We forget. I think if that person really did played a part in your heart you will never forget about them. I believe there’s still a child inside me. But there’s more of an adult than there is a child. Not because I’m already 23 but because I did grew up early. I see life as it is as early as 8 years old. I see the road towards mistakes and forgiveness. I see the road to understanding and forcefully understanding things as they are. I did discover a lot. If you wanted to write something on the pages of your book of life, take the risk. Do all things you wanted to do so you would not have regrets. If there are no risk there are no choices and choices makes life colorful and meaningful. Someday in someways I would have to write the ending of my life’s story, I wanted it to be simple as ” I have done all the things I wanted to do and now I’m happy to rest.”
Archived date: March 27, 2007
Kay sakit naman isipin na sa puso mo ako’y pangalawa.
Sa tuwing makikita na kachat mo siya pinipikit ang aking mata.
Sa mga gabing sya’y kausap mo halos hindi ako makahinga.
Kayakap ko ay bote ng Chivas at nagmumok sa lamesa.
Ano ang ating lagay o hindi mapalagay.
Ako’y nasasaktan pag sya’y kausap.
Sya ngayon, ako’y bukas sa makalawa’y sya nanaman.
Kung pwede nga lang gusto kong mapasaakin ka at nakawin sa kanya.
Sa puso ko’y nag iisa kahit na merong kasamang iba
kahit hindi na tama ang aking mga gingawa basta makasama lang kita
At kung sayo’y isang pangamba na ika’y kalimutan ko na
Ngayon palang sinasabi ko na ito’y hindi ko kaya.
Masakit mang isipin, ito’y reyalidad ng buhay natin.
Ako’y sa pangarap at sya’y sa pagmulat.
Nakikihati sa atensyon at pagmamahal.
Alam ko man nung una pa na ito ang kalalabasan nating.
Pinigil ang sarili ngunit ako’y tao rin lang naman.
Marunonog umibig, marunonog masaktan
Kahit pa alam kong ang lahat ng ginagawa ko’y hindi magbubunga
Pinili ko paring maging maligaya
Ang sitwasyong nating ito ngayon ay malapit na sa hanganan
Mahirap isuko, isang bagay na alam mo namang pinaghirapang
Na sa maikling panahon lamang
Habang buhay sa iyo’y mabibigay ngiti
Archived date: January 5, 2008